I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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