i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
