if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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