I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
