Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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