she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
