So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
