I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
