Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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