What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
