Yo dont text me then not text me
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
