so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
