My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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