You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
