id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
