I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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