so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
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