Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
