So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
