States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
