You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
