That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
We just shotgunned beers for America
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
