I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
