No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
