If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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