Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
