she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
