You're my little dorito
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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