sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
