i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
