Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
