Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
My life is pants optional.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
