Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
