we're blogging at a bar
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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