he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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