I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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