PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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