i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
How naked do you want me to be?
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