it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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