she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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