my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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