I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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