if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
