a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
