Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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