Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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