I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
