what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I believe in your delicious
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
