I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
how does that bad decision feel?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
