the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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