You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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